Travel serves as a remarkable litmus test for gauging the compatibility of you and your partner. It immerses you both in a microcosm of the life you've envisioned together. Even if you already share a home, it compels you to truly "see" your significant other and coexist harmoniously. When you journey to different places, you must communicate in ways that affect everything from your physical safety to your financial freedom. I routinely suggest travel to clients who feel their relationships have lost their spark or to those who are just starting to understand their partner's true nature before making a commitment.
Shared Experiences
Travel isn't just about selfies in front of the Great Wall of China; it encompasses the entire journey, beginning at home. Even during the planning phase, you bond, discussing what to pack and where you both want to go. On the road, you discover each other's preferences, form a shared rhythm for daily activities, including eating, relaxing, sleeping, and, of course, moments of intimacy. These experiences become cherished memories, regardless of the distance traveled. A weekend getaway, for instance, can leave you with stories to share for years.
Fostering a 'Couple's Language'
Venturing into the unknown during your travels sparks fresh conversations and shared experiences that wouldn't typically occur in your everyday routine. Whether you're pondering the mystery of the Leaning Tower of Pisa's stability, marveling at sea creatures in an aquarium, or observing wildlife during a safari, you introduce new topics into your relationship. These discussions lead to unique "inside jokes" between you, creating a strong bond rooted in new perspectives. You'll cultivate that enviable connection that seems to give certain couples their own secret language, understandable only to them.
Exploring Intimacy Through Names
Most couples have affectionate nicknames for each other like 'Babe,' 'Sweetheart,' or 'Honey.' However, why not extend this playfulness to the bedroom by giving affectionate names to each other's genitals? This can add an element of fun, especially when both partners agree to use pet names for their intimate areas. It injects playfulness into your relationship, even in public settings where your coded language remains your secret.
Problem-Solving as a Team
Have you ever navigated unfamiliar terrain with your partner, relying on GPS or deciphering street signs in a foreign alphabet? Or perhaps you've struggled to decipher an indecipherable menu while dining out? These activities demand patience, composure, and, importantly, a sense of humor. One of the best indicators of a successful relationship is the ability to find the same things funny. When you work together as a team to navigate these challenges, it's an accomplishment that strengthens your bond, illustrating the essence of a great relationship: a victorious partnership.
Heightened Passion
Many people wonder why vacation sex seems more passionate than the sex in their daily lives. Is it the hotel room's ambiance, the balcony view, the complimentary treats, or perhaps the spacious shower or hot tub? Even couples camping in the wild can experience heightened passion. The common denominator here isn't the setting; it's the absence of distractions. At home, daily routines and responsibilities weigh you down with questions like: Should I buy coffee and milk? Did I lock the car? Have you fed the dog? None of these are particularly sexy. Conversely, when traveling, these distractions dissipate, enabling you to share intimate moments whenever the mood strikes. You're free to have sex at your leisure, unburdened by obligations like work, gym, book club, soccer practice, or PTA meetings. A fulfilling sex life thrives on the ability to express yourself freely. The more you're reminded of "shoulds" and obligations, the less enticing you find them. Couples who travel often discover it's easier to prioritize sex when they return home because they've broken the cycle of distraction, realizing that making time for sex is a state of mind.
Learning About Each Other
Travel requires you to find new ways to fulfill your everyday needs. There are no pre-made casseroles waiting in the fridge at your hotel. You'll improvise every meal, pharmacy run, and coffee break. This heightened awareness of your partner's desires and rhythms forms the core of your shared experiences. You'll remember how a 3 PM coffee revived her spirits, making her ready for a full afternoon of exploration. You'll learn that he grows hungry by 11 AM without breakfast. You'll both discover that you're inclined toward intimacy before dinner rather than after. These micro-lessons enhance your roles as attentive partners, enriching your relationship when you return home.
Travel offers numerous other advantages as well: exposure to new cultures, culinary adventures, exposure to unique music, and opportunities to witness breathtaking sights. Over my two decades of couples counseling, I've personally witnessed the transformative power of travel on relationships. Even a brief weekend getaway can push you beyond your comfort zone and into a world of exciting new experiences. It allows you to attune to the nuances of your partner's needs and preferences, fostering a deeper understanding and appreciation. These lessons from your travels often carry over to your life at home.
Give it a try, and share your experiences of how travel has impacted your relationship.