In today's society, masturbation is not something that only "bad girls" can do, but something that all girls can do, and the whole don't have to feel ashamed because it's a normal psychological need.
What is female masturbation?
Female masturbation refers to the act of a woman stimulating her genitals for sexual pleasure. There are many different ways for women to masturbate, some choose to stimulate the clitoris with fingers or toys, others will choose to penetrate the vagina, and some women will have an orgasm by clenching their legs.
Why is female masturbation a shameful taboo?
The reason for the marginalization of female masturbation is related to the sexual repression of women in patriarchal societies. In patriarchal societies, there is a status difference between males and females. Men's needs are placed at the center, while women are used to satisfy all kinds of men's needs, including sexual needs.
As a result, patriarchal society forces women to serve men's sexual desires through various discourses. For example, women are intimidated by being told that men are sexually charged beings and that if they do not fulfill men's desires, they may be short-tempered, cheat on their wives, or rape them. Another classic example is the patriarchal society's use of pleasure as blackmail to get women to cater to men's needs.
By portraying women as passive and intelligently dependent on their male partners for pleasure, women are indoctrinated with the false idea that "the only way to be sexually satisfied is to have sex with a man." In this way, they must get the pleasure they want by matching the male's desires. And female masturbation will debunk this lie because through masturbation, women don't have to rely on men to get sexual pleasure. This also gives patriarchal society one less way to control women. And so, as one of the key pathways to sexual autonomy, female masturbation is kept out of mainstream discourse.
Some rumors about female masturbation
Masturbation deepens the color of a woman's pubic area. Similar to the rumor that "more sex will turn a woman's labia into a 'black fungus'", some people mistakenly believe that the more they masturbate, the darker their labia will become due to friction. But in fact, the color of a woman's labia and areolas has nothing to do with sexual experience or the number of times she masturbates, but rather with sex hormone levels. When both men and women enter puberty, hormone levels change, causing melanin to be deposited in the private parts, making the color darker.
Masturbation in women can affect the menstrual cycle. In fact, the menstrual cycle is related to factors such as sleep and stressful situations, but not to the act of masturbation. For example, some people feel that masturbation delays their menstrual cycle, which may be coincidental; it may also be due to high stress during that time, and tend to use masturbation to release the pressure, the delay in menstruation is actually a function of stress, rather than the result of masturbation itself. Some friends also mention that they feel short of breath and weak after masturbation and worry that masturbation has damaged their bodies. In fact, masturbation itself is not harmful to the body; on the contrary, it can release stress, help with sleep, and has even been used to relieve menstrual pain. However, masturbating when you are already fatigued or in discomfort may aggravate your body's burden; and if you usually lack exercise, you may feel tired from doing any kind of exercise; in addition, some women's shame and anxiety about masturbation may exert negative psychological cues, which ultimately manifests itself in physical discomfort.
Female masturbation can be detrimental to sexual behavior with a partner. Masturbating even after having a partner is a common phenomenon. Some people worry that masturbation will affect sex with a partner and make people less eager to have sex with them. On the contrary, masturbation improves the quality of sex with a partner. Married women who masturbate to orgasm are more satisfied with their marriages and sex lives than those who don't. Masturbation can help people in a variety of ways when it comes to their sex lives. First, masturbation can help women become more aware of their bodies and sexual responses, applying them to their sexual experiences with their partners. Second, masturbation fuels desire. The more you have a good experience of getting an orgasm, the more you want more sex. Those who masturbate more will also have more sexual partners and more frequent sex. If you feel that masturbation is interfering with your sex life with your partner, perhaps it is not masturbation that needs to be "looked at" but the quality of your sex life with your partner. For example, in the survey, one person mentioned that sex with her partner was uncomfortable while masturbation was pleasurable, so she turned to masturbation more often and felt that masturbation was affecting the frequency of sex with her partner. But the root problem here is that her sex life with her partner may need to be improved, not masturbation. Masturbation is instead the solution she uses to cope with her dissatisfaction.
What does female masturbation mean to you?
Aversion to masturbation may be due to dissatisfaction with oneself
Some people don't like female masturbation because it inspires them to feel bad about themselves. For some men, for example, seeing a female partner masturbate inspires anxiety about their masculinity. Some men may even ask their female partners not to masturbate for this reason, to protect their self-esteem. Some women feel that masturbation damages their sense of self-worth, and they internalize the negative comments they experienced and heard about female desire while growing up. When they masturbate, they can't help but inwardly label themselves as "dirty" or "immoral". Moreover, some women had negative memories of masturbation, which, together with self-blame, affected their experience of masturbation. Some of the women interviewed said that they felt like a "bitch" every time they masturbated.
People who enjoy "female masturbation" find it pleasurable and liberating.
Not everyone is offended by the idea of their female partner masturbating; on the contrary, some people feel relieved that their partner masturbates and that they don't have to force themselves to be a "superhero" sexually. Other women enjoy masturbation because it allows them to please themselves better and experience pleasure on their own terms. In interviews, I've also had women ask me, "Is there something wrong with me if I never masturbate/want to masturbate." In fact, we didn't write this tweet to discourage people from trying masturbation or to make it some sort of "cure-all". We're just trying to clear some of the hurdles, so that when you want to try it and there's a path to pleasure in front of you, we hope you won't be deterred from stepping into it because of judgment from others or from yourself. Women should have the same options in sex as men. No matter what the dominant voices say, may you still be able to "hold" this freedom in your hands.