In a long-term relationship, couples may not always fulfill each other's complete sexual desires. Introducing a third person can add novelty and excitement to your sex life, if that's something both partners desire. Participating in a threesome can be an incredibly memorable experience, but it's essential to ensure the memories are positive.
Communication plays a crucial role when considering the inclusion of a third person in your relationship. Before diving into the experience, don't overlook discussing your wants and needs openly. If, for instance, you strongly prefer no penetration, express that clearly. Failing to set clear guidelines could lead to resentment and jealousy. Establishing basic ground rules allows for more freedom in the moment.
Where to find your partner?
Discovering a suitable third person for your threesome has become incredibly convenient with the help of the Internet. You can exchange messages on various dating sites like OkCupid or Plenty of Fish, or explore dedicated platforms like ThreesomeDatingSite or Adult Friend Finder. When reaching out, be clear about your intentions, and expect some back-and-forth communication to get to know each other better. You can use acronyms like MMF (male, male, female) or MFF, MMM, and FFF (or any combination) to specify the type of third participant you are seeking.
I highly recommend arranging a three-way "date" in advance without any sexual expectations. This provides an opportunity to discuss your fantasies openly, allowing all parties involved to become comfortable with one another. Taking this extra step enhances the sexual anticipation and makes the experience more satisfying, as there is a deeper level of connection. I'm not suggesting that you need to become best friends (in fact, I discourage engaging in sexual activities with close platonic friends), but even a brief conversation and spending some time together can lead to smoother interactions in the bedroom later on.
Another option for finding a third person is to visit a bar, swing club, or even a BDSM dungeon with the intention of meeting someone interested in participating in a consensual threesome experience. In such settings, clear communication becomes even more crucial from the start, as you don't have the advantage of an online introduction to pave the way for your intentions. When in doubt, trust your instincts and err on the side of caution, as it's always better to prioritize safety.
The Art of Negotiation
Engage in open discussions about individual interests and desires, addressing personal boundaries and non-negotiables regarding activities such as kissing, oral sex, intercourse, anal play, and sleepovers. Consider establishing a universally understood code word or signal, like using traffic light colors (RED for STOP and GREEN for GO), to ensure clear communication during intimate moments when you may need a safe way to halt the action.
To facilitate the negotiation process, try the WANT, WILL, WON'T exercise concerning sexual activities. This approach has proven highly beneficial for my clients, serving as a valuable starting point to encourage open communication and enable each person to express their desires and boundaries freely.
Indulging in a Delectable Evening: Games and Intimacy
Organizing a pleasurable night for a threesome can be an enjoyable endeavor. Begin by ordering everyone's favorite cuisine and arranging comfortable seating that allows for a relaxed atmosphere without a cumbersome table in the way. For a flirtatious start to the evening, engage in playful conversation revolving around turn-ons, turn-offs, or perhaps a show-and-tell session.
As things take a sensual turn, playfully feed each other and explore the enticing act of licking food off your partner's body, enticing the other person to join in the fun. A touch of alcohol can add to the relaxed ambiance and ignite the passion, but moderation is essential. Don't overdo the drinks, as you want to ensure consent remains a central focus, elevating your sexual experience without creating any drama.
Incorporate some icebreaker adult games like Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare, or Strip Poker to set the mood for playfulness and naughtiness. Ensure you have an abundant supply of condoms, lubricants, and sex toys at hand to keep the party lighthearted. Remember to change condoms when switching from anal to vaginal and never share sex toys; instead, have an ample quantity of each item available. It's essential to use a new condom with each partner for safety.
Take turns pampering each other with a four-handed massage to relax and ignite arousal by exploring all the erogenous zones from head to toe. Organic coconut oil or smooth massage glide can create a silky and enjoyable sensation on the skin. Additionally, warming and cooling products can enhance sensitivity, while flavored massage products can add a delightful element of pleasure for both the giver and receiver of this intimate experience.
Embrace the Present
Choose your words wisely to boost your partner's confidence. Expressing affectionate phrases like "I love you," "You're an incredible lover," and showering them with positive compliments can foster a sense of security, reducing any potential competitive feelings they might have towards the third person.
Inclusivity is vital. Avoid an unbalanced threesome where interactions between two individuals overshadow the third. Ensure everyone feels equally involved and cherished by finding ways to extend your touch and attention to include the third person.
Keep water close by to avoid a dry mouth at the most intimate moments when kissing, licking, or sucking becomes essential. Hydration is key to maintaining the sensual flow of the experience.
1 Man, 2 Women Positions
Men often fantasize about being with two women, and fortunately, many women are open to exploring this fantasy with their partner. A scintillating sexual position involves the man engaging in doggy style with one partner while she pleasures the other woman orally. Alternatively, he can receive oral pleasure from the new woman while his partner sits on his face, creating an exciting threesome experience. Additionally, there are numerous variations of 69-inspired positions that can bring pleasure to everyone involved.
1 Woman, 2 Men Positions
This fantasy, where a woman is the center of attention with two men, can lead to double penetration experiences. One effective position for this is when one man lies on his back, allowing the woman to straddle him in the cowgirl position, while the other man penetrates her anally from behind as she leans forward. This thrilling MFM threesome experience offers unique opportunities for pleasure and exploration. Of course, there are also many other sexual positions that can incorporate oral pleasure for everyone's enjoyment.
Exploring the World of Sex Toys
Introducing sex toys to your threesome can extend the excitement, infuse additional visual allure, and enhance playfulness. These toys can assist women in achieving orgasms more effortlessly and provide men with a reprieve from the pressure of maintaining erections. Moreover, you might even contemplate gifting your third participant a sex toy as a keepsake from the unforgettable occasion.
Advantages & Disadvantages of a Threesome
Advantages
- Excitement - Threesomes offer a thrilling and adventurous experience due to their taboo nature. They allow for the exploration of new sexual positions, erogenous zones, and provide visually erotic encounters.
- Hormonal Boost - Engaging in a threesome can lead to an increase in feel-good hormones, from elevated Testosterone levels to surging Dopamine.
- Fantasy Fulfillment - Threesomes offer the chance to bring same-sex or two-on-one fantasies to life.
- Freedom - Threesomes offer an opportunity to express uninhibited love and intimacy outside of traditional norms.
- Passion Rekindling - Threesomes have the potential to reignite passion in established relationships.
Disadvantages
- Jealousy - Concerns about emotional attachments to the third person or fears of their superior lovemaking skills may trigger jealousy.
- Feelings of Inadequacy - Both men and women may feel intimidated by physical or sexual comparisons with the other participants.
- Competition - Threesomes can evoke feelings of rivalry, where participants engage in sexual contests with one another.
- Awkwardness - Unless clear boundaries are established, there may be uncomfortable moments after the sexual encounter.
- Embarrassment - With three people involved, there is potential for more humorous and noisy mishaps, but a sense of humor can help overcome such situations.
Examine this list of advantages and disadvantages with your partner to jointly decide whether or not to explore a threesome. Discuss with each other the level of importance you place on the idea, using a scale from one to ten, where ten indicates it could be a potential dealbreaker for the relationship.
Respect your partner's feelings regarding the possibility and be open to the possibility that the answer might be a firm "No." If you decide to proceed as a couple, ensure that your relationship foundation is solid and that your intentions are focused on having enjoyable and consensual experiences.