It has become widely accepted that a good sex life is necessarily dependent on the technique used by the man. Research in sexual physiology has found that people often misunderstand the ways in which technique works. Attention has been focused on the parts of the body that have sensory organs. It has been shown that the sexual response always involves a number of physiological responses, of which the increasing tension in the muscles of the body is probably the most important one.
However, overemphasizing sexual techniques can weaken the necessary connection between sex and love. If too much emphasis is placed on specific, mechanical sexual techniques, it is often difficult to create either love and concern or adequate communication and exchange. Therefore, more and more people feel that doing that makes sex unable to express love, but merely a manifestation of technique and skill. If too much emphasis is placed on sexual skill, it will make the act of love into a mechanical action, and the formation of alienation, loneliness, humiliation of personality and other emotions
Therefore, how do we find the right sexual techniques to make the "sex" between lovers more complete?
Communication of First Sex Signals
Every couple in the sex life, have their own special sexual signals, usually not naked show love, but through some hidden language, special eyes or action to imply each other. Only let the other side to understand and get used to these sexual signals, in order to increase the tacit understanding and coordination between each other in sex life, otherwise it is easy to cause each other's misunderstanding!
Men tend to be more outspoken in their expression of sexual desire, often with hugs or direct stimulation of sensitive areas such as breasts to express the desire to have sex. Women, on the other hand, are more subtle, and very often, women, especially young women, take the initiative to kiss or hug their husbands, perhaps as a sign of love rather than as a sexual request.
The verbal expression of sex between husband and wife is also very important, because even couples seldom use direct language to express the desire to make love. It is necessary to create a both sides can accept, but also can understand the "secret language". Such as couples will say "work tonight?", some will say "practicing tonight," and some say "do do homework tonight", or " Let's have fun tonight," and so on, just to name a few. When the other person responds positively and subtly, it is a response. Loving couples have their own sexual signals and should create their own.
Communication of secondary sexual reactions
If the communication of sexual signals can still gradually form a tacit understanding in life, then the communication of sexual reactions needs to be bold and straightforward, and the heart is fine and sincere. This is a couple with a considerable emotional foundation can do.
Asking each other about sexual feelings during sex, the speed and angle of sexual movements, the intensity of sexual stimulation and when sexual pleasure and orgasm are likely to occur during sex is an important means of enhancing the sexual experience and an important way of promoting harmony in sexual life.
There is a loving couple, both of whom have had unfortunate marital histories. The wife is 35 years old and in her prime. She frankly admitted: "In the past, due to the couple's bad relationship, life's repression, has always been on the sex of cold attitude or even hostile. But now it seems like a volcanic eruption. This shows that the key is still to like each other." It is because of the cause of like, the wife will make love in the process of constantly prompting her husband to stimulate where, the action speed of the priority. Their sex life becomes very harmonious and fulfilling.
Women can get pregnant with or without orgasm. Women do not have orgasm every time as men do, but once they have it, they may use an extremely rich vocabulary to describe and express their personal experience and inner feelings. The wife once wrote an article on female sexual feelings, saying that orgasm is an all-encompassing experience, a magical experience that is a mesmerizing moment of intense physical pleasure, amorous feelings, youthful energy, and frenzied excitement, all combined in one erotic moment.
With the experience of orgasm, women tend to be more active in sex. However, since it is difficult to synchronize the sexual response of men and women, it is not easy for a woman to reach orgasm without a sincere and straightforward exchange of sexual responses.
Tri-sexual favored communication
Sexual favoritism refers to the sexual activities of men and women, the most willing to accept the caress of the parts, the most interested in the time and environment, stimulation mode, position and so on. Through these exchanges, we can understand each other and choose the more common points between the two sides, thus enlivening the atmosphere of sexual life and promoting the harmony of sexual life.
Sexologists have suggested that couples need to plan their sex lives, make plans should include: the frequency of sex and the interval, the best time, caressing action of the type and duration, the timing of the beginning of sex and position, both sides have dissatisfaction should be expressed in what code, in case there is a special situation when it is postponed or another time to choose, after sex hope that the other party to do something and so on. In fact, any couple can not be "plan" written on paper, step by step, it needs couples in sexual communication gradually formed a tacit understanding. The content of the sex life plan, in fact, is the couple's sexual preference.
There is a middle-aged couple, both have had an unfortunate marital history, and the reason for their respective divorces is related to their ex-husbands and ex-wives' sexual disharmony. They are very valuable to borrow each other's feelings, through the exchange of sexual favorites, so that their sex life is very harmonious. In the first time after marriage, the wife told her husband to stimulate her left breast, the most sensitive part. Directly stimulate the pubic region instead of uncomfortable. The husband thought that the most sensitive part of the woman is the pubic area. If the wife does not tell her husband their sexual preference, then the quality of sex between them may be greatly reduced. In the future, every time you have sex, the change of position by the wife hints, who is full of energy by who take the initiative. Wife will be prompted from time to time to stimulate the part, depth, duration and so on. As the saying goes: turnip green vegetables, each love. The same is true for the sex life of couples. Each person may like to use some ways and do not like some other ways. But sex life is, after all, two people's things, some of their favorite way in the other side of the view is disgusting, and even intolerable.
There is such an example: a university teacher couple, the woman every time she had sex , asked the man to give oral stimulation, and normal sexual intercourse is not too important to her. Over time, the man's heart felt that his wife has a "sexual perversion" of suspicion, the two sides of the relationship is also increasingly distant. Later, the man went to consult a sexologist to tell his troubles. Sexologists pointed out that oral sex is not perverted, as long as both sides are willing to shorten the gap between male and female sexual response. The woman's request for oral sex shows that she has better feelings for her husband, and her pursuit of sex is in itself not objectionable. The man has since changed his mindset, in the future sex life, give his wife positive cooperation.
In reality, many happy couples have adjusted their sexual preferences and favoritisms to varying degrees, eventually achieving a kind of harmony. But this process is neither a conquest nor a teaching, but a kind of communication based on equality and emotion, which of course includes giving up some of their own sexual preferences and obeying some of the other party's requirements. This exchange should be a two-way street, not just asking the other person to adjust or change to suit them, while they remain completely unchanged. Harmonious sex life, get and give should be synchronized.
The four sexes should be communicated authentically
For human beings, it is not enough to have sexual feelings, but also sexual feelings. Sincere deep love can produce hot sex, and sex is also the emotional blend of psychological affinity. Real sexual communication is the cornerstone of sexual harmony. In real life, not a few women with conservative sexual concepts, and even some introverted and conservative women think that the purpose of sex is to procreate, so the birth of a child after the sex life as a redundant thing, is the wife had to do the duty, so the negative attitude towards sex life. Some even think that sex is dirty and sinful.
Therefore, some women have a long-term lack of orgasm, but they love their husbands, in order to cater to their husbands, they pretend to have an orgasm. Husbands believe it to be true, make a mistake, resulting in sexual disharmony. They do not understand that a harmonious sexual life is the natural biological needs of men and women, and that both parties have the obligation to work closely together and the equal right to be satisfied together. Similarly, if the man in the sexual relationship shows only offensive behavior, cold self-confidence, stone-like silence, it can arouse the passion of both parties to invest in it?
Authentic sexual communication is an important factor in sexual harmony between husband and wife. Husbands should understand that women are relatively shy about sex and find it difficult to talk about it. As a husband, he should take the initiative and scientifically lift the veil of mystery. When his wife feels disgusted, disgusted or cold towards sex, he should take the initiative to guide her patiently and not ignore her. Blindly increase the frequency of sexual life, increase the intensity and amplitude of action, and even use some of the wife can not accept the behavior to stimulate the wife's sexual pleasure, often twice the effort and half the result, or even counterproductive.